Anônimo asked: I was wondering if you agreed with a lot of the rules that authors,teachers, and writing books had. What I've been told is that a story should open big, and that the first five minutes or five pages need to hook the reader or viewer. That there always needs to be something at stake and every character should want something. I feel like I'm forcing characters to do things and adding elements to the story that shouldn't be there. That if I do these things, the story no longer feels like mine.
I’m not a fan of rules when it comes to art. When you read my book out next year now available for pre-order on Amazon :-) you will not hear any rules. you will be hearing from a lot of successful people telling you things that worked for them. I abide by Robert McKee’s one universal truth: there are things that work.
but just because there are things that work doesn’t mean you should only do the things that work all of the time in all scenarios.
every time someone tells me THIS is the only way you should do this my brain, like many others, immediately start cataloging all of the times someone has done the opposite of this and been successful.
one would argue that we didn’t get into things like storytelling because we like to follow rules.
if you feel like you’re forcing your characters that means you are forcing your characters. let your characters tell you what they need and want.
Great reminders for any creative endeavor. Rules get you from point A to point B. They are useful as railroad tracks. But if you want to go somewhere not on the tracks, uncharted territory… you have to get off the tracks, and follow the journey where it takes you.
june2734 asked: Hey Kiri,sorry im always flinging you these multi layered questions but I just really value your opinion and find you to be a very interesting and admirable person. Anyway's,I wanted to ask you about your opinion on love and friendship,you seem to have interesting view point on both topic's that I personally don't see very often.How did you come to these idea's?(Friendship being seen as second place next to romance for example,or people just looking for concepts like the manic pixie dream girl?)
To me, friendship means you’re family. Only there is no blood-obligation. We’re there for each other purely because we want to be. You care about that person, you care about them being happy and succeeding. It’s love without expectation. Honestly for me, friendship love and romantic love are very much the same.
Except romantic love usually comes with a few expectations—including the way physical affection is displayed. Not to say these expectations are bad—but it brings me to my main point.
When I have politely turned someone down in the past for a romantic entanglement his/her reaction tends to be a deeply offended one. As if a desire for friendship with them was second-rate or that my lack of attraction to them was a personal insult and something I can control. I suppose that reaction also paints a fairly clear picture of what they wanted from me, but that’s another story entirely. These people end up walking out of your life and that’s really the end of it all.
Rejection sucks, I get it, we’ve all been there. You have tv shows and movies flashing around terms like “Friend zone” and treating the idea of being a friend like crap. Hell, even Friends often put the idea across that if you were getting friendship from someone you found attractive instead of sex that you were a loser.
But when I say I want to be friends, it means I want you in my life still. Honestly, in my book it probably means more than attempting a romantic entanglement. I adore my friends, we’re integral parts of each other’s lives—we’ve been together for years.
Honestly it may come down to a misunderstanding of sexuality and attraction and friendship just gets the brunt of the blow… I’m not entirely sure.
As for the MPDG, this is something I run into a lot. I guess people just want the magic fix all—the thing that will make the bad things in their life go away and they often turn to romance for that. And if you’re a girl who seems happy and adventurous and just even a little bit quirky, you tend to get MPDGed. The one that’s gonna fix them. You seem happy, interesting and alive, maybe if we date, I’ll be happy and interesting and alive…
No. That’s not how it works. People need to stop looking to other people to solve their problems. Be happy with who you are by yourself. THEN look to find someone who’s in the same boat. Otherwise you’re just brewing up a bomb of suffocating co-dependency and disappointment.
Everyone has flaws, everyone has problems. Everyone has those little ticks that annoy you. No one likes being on a pedestal. No one wants to literally be worshiped. …unless you’re starting a cult, but if your relationship is like a cult you’ve got bigger problems than I can even begin to speak to.